Coaching for Managers

Most managers believe they coach their teams. Most teams report being told what to do. This is the practical difference: when coaching is the right instrument, when it is the wrong one, and the four questions that carry most of the value.

Managing and coaching are different activities

A manager tells you what needs doing and checks that it was. A manager coaching you asks what you think the options are and lets you pick one that is not the one they would have picked. Most managers believe they coach; most teams report being told.

The distinction matters because coaching is slower per conversation and faster per quarter. Telling someone the answer resolves today's problem and guarantees tomorrow's identical question.

When to coach and when not to

That last row is where most managers get into trouble. Using coaching questions to lead someone toward a conclusion you have already reached about their future is manipulation with a friendly interface, and people detect it.

Four questions that do most of the work

1. "What have you already tried?" Stops you solving a problem they have solved twice.
2. "What would you do if I were on holiday?" Most people know. This question surfaces it and hands the decision back.
3. "What's the real problem here?" The presenting problem is frequently not the one worth solving.
4. "What do you need from me?" Usually the answer is smaller than you assumed — a decision, an introduction, cover with someone else.

Where managers get this wrong

Asking questions they know the answer to. This is a quiz, not coaching, and it is obvious from the other side.

Coaching when time-poor. A rushed coaching conversation is worse than a straight instruction, because it wastes their time and yours before arriving where you were always going.

Never following up. The conversation creates a commitment. Not returning to it teaches people the conversation was decorative.

Coaching styles for managers

The useful distinction is directive to non-directive, and good managers move along it depending on the person and the stakes rather than picking a style and staying there. A capable person on a familiar problem needs almost nothing from you. A new hire on an unfamiliar one needs a lot. Applying the same amount to both is the most common failure. There is more on this in coaching as a leadership style and situational leadership.

Frequently asked questions

What is coaching for managers?

Coaching for managers is using a questioning approach with your team rather than supplying answers, so that people build judgement instead of dependency. It is slower in any single conversation and faster over a quarter, because telling someone the answer resolves today's problem and guarantees tomorrow's identical question.

When should a manager coach instead of giving direction?

Coach when the problem recurs, or when the person already has the knowledge and needs confidence rather than information. Direct when there is a genuine skill gap, a safety or legal risk, or an emergency. Never use coaching questions during performance management: if you have reached a conclusion, say so plainly.

What questions should managers ask when coaching?

Four cover most situations: what have you already tried, what would you do if I were on holiday, what is the real problem here, and what do you need from me. The last is usually answered with something smaller than you expected, such as a decision or an introduction.

What are the different coaching styles for managers?

The useful axis runs from directive to non-directive, and effective managers move along it based on the person's capability and the stakes rather than adopting one style permanently. A capable person on a familiar problem needs very little; a new hire on an unfamiliar one needs a great deal.

What mistakes do managers make when coaching?

Asking questions they already know the answer to, which reads as a quiz. Attempting to coach when short of time, which wastes everyone's. And failing to follow up, which teaches people the conversation was decorative. The most damaging is using coaching language to steer someone toward a decision you have already made.